Just Friends?

Well me and Ardley I think have come to an agreement to be friends again.

I was really upset last night and couldn’t stop thinking about him, and I kept tossing and turning. So I just wanted to it all of my chest. I started writing a text to him, not intending to send it, just to make me feel better, I just had lots of unanswered questions. Anyway I accidently sent it. I cancelled it as soon as I realised, and didn’t think he would have got it. But about 5 minutes later he was ringing me cos he got some of the text.

He explained he was happy I sent it because he hadn’t been sure how I’d been feeling and he wanted to understand more. He wanted to be there for me again. And we were just talking like friends again, it was very nice. And it was that phone call that made me realise the thing I miss the most is just having a friend to talk to about anything. I didn’t just lose a boyfriend I lost a best friend too, and last night was good. He said it was nice talking to me again, and I could tell he was generally happy that it was happening. I’m just worried that he might now think there is a future for us. And I don’t want either of us to have any sort of baggage when he starts CRC and when I start at Southampton. I don’t want us being friends hold us back from moving on. But he will be in wales on saturday and then Newcastle so I will probably not be on his mind so much then. And when he comes back I will probably be preparing for New York or actually in NEW YORK!!! YAYAYAYAY!

Well at least I don’t feel sad or hurt now. And I got some of my questions answered which helps a lot. And he apologised for all the nasty things he did. I know he still did them, and I am still angry at him for that, and him saying sorry isn’t gonna just change my feelings over night. But it does help me feel better.

Now I’m just trying to focus on Uni, looking at Halls and which I think are the best to stay in. Been talking to a girl called Lizzie and she seems nice and knows a lot more about Southampton than I do!

Now it’s just about moving on and fresh starts.

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