It’s over.

I was right. Some form of contact from Ardley and I have been set back. He sent me an nice email last night saying thank you. And I was back to square one again, in bed and not wanting to see anyone or do anything. And I dreamt of him again. So again he was the first thing on my mind. But the email meant closure.

Now its officially over. No more phone calls or texts, no more random turning up and not even any nasty comments. Ardley has excepted its the end now. And all I feel is sad. So so sad. Its like I didn’t think it was real whilst all the drama happened. And I guess a part of me thought Ardley would do something amazing and I would know he was the one.

When he did all those nasty things it was easy being angry at him. Now he is being nice again and I just feel hurt and I miss him. I know how he treated me was wrong and my friends and family have made me come to terms with these facts, and I know it would only ever work ever again is if he got lots of councilling and help for his depression.  But when he sends nice emails, It really hurts that I will never see him again. Maybe this was all part of his plan to ignore me for a few days then send an email, knowing I’d latch onto it reading every word 20 times through. But he sounds like he is ready to move on. And I will be too.

Anyway I have Emma’s party to look forward to next saturday. And now Philippa and Sophie are coming with me it should be great. But I need some serious heel training between now and then so I can at least walk let alone dance.

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